Hi, Lorraine Menza here, and in this video/blog I am going to talk about Dale Carnegie’s common sense tips, tips that he give us from his book How to Win Friends and Influence People! Unfortunately, some of these tips are not taught by our parents. This book was written in 1936 and I was reading the 1986 revision. This book has lasted the test of time because of all the great advice that was written by Dale Carnegie!
Some of these tips should be shared with others, but I recommend you read this book. Dale advises us to be genuinely interested in people. This advice is so important when dealing with people in sales, business, and relationships. Connection is something that is so important to establish when being with people. In today’s society, especially relationships, I believe showing the other person they are more important than your cell phone. I cannot believe how many people I see sitting together in a restaurant or fast food place and they are more engaged with their phone than the person they are with!
Another way to connect with others is to smile! How many of us let the bad day that we are having influence our facial expressions? When you smile, you change your internal emotions and the emotions of others!
Common sense tells us to remember a person’s name! This is a must in business, sales, and making friends with others. The person who remembers and uses the other person’s name in their conversation is probably going to be the one that will be heard above the others. I am so guilty of this! I have a difficult time in remembering people’s name that I am introduced. So I have learned to mentally repeat the name and try to use it in conversation.
Three common sense tips from the book that go hand in hand are be a good listener, make the other person feel important, and talk in terms of the other person’s interests. People want to be heard, so when you listen to what they have to say, they feel important and valued. If that person is talking, most likely he/she is talking about things that are in his/her interest. To continue in this vein, ask questions that encourage this conversation.
The influence section of Dale Carnegie’s book gives us some advice. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. In sales, you may run into people who are using your product wrong and are blaming this on the defect of the product. You know that not to be true; but instead of arguing with that person, listen to what they have to say. Then get the other person saying “yes,yes.” Ask questions that are not confrontational, but rather guiding that person to say yes towards your product. If you keep asking the right questions, then that person may realize that they are not utilizing your product correctly, or maybe they misinterpreted. This is all done without confrontation. This not only works in business, but in personal relationships.
Dale Carnegie also encouraged to show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong”. Once you tell someone you are wrong; it is difficult to have that person hear what you have to say. Respect their opinions, and hopefully, they will respect yours!
Dale tells you if you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically! Being able to point out that you are wrong tells another person that you are someone that they can respect.
All of the above, are just a few of the common sense tips that How to Win Friends and Influence People, has to share with others. It is a must read!